It would appear that I may have upset a Mr. Jamie Bargeman of Exalt Records recently. How you may ask? Well, he and I don’t share a similar taste in music, and this was a situation that was just too much for him to handle.
It all started with a review on Discogs.com. As with previous postings on this blog, you can see that my interest in Octal Industries recordings is dwindling since the release of Arrival/Departure. In my opinion it’s an opportunity squandered by a producer who now releases uninvolving, generic, vapid music. Techno so dubbed out that it verges on pointless.
While browsing Discogs.com, I noticed Octal has a new release – a full length album no less! Excellent, I thought, what a great change to redeem previously stumbled releases. Even if two of the tracks on the album were good, it would still have been worth picking up.
Unfortunately, after the first listen I found nothing worth while. Boring, cookie-cutter, dub-techno 2.0 ™ . Yawn.
I left a little review expressing my opinion [below]
This, tongue-in-cheek, bad review was too much for Jamie Bargeman to handle. A red mist descended over his eye, and the big man became engulfed with rage.
HOW DARE I NOT SHARE HIS OPINION?!
So Jamie, who goes by woofhard_one on Discogs.com, did what any one of us would do when disagreeing with someone on the internet. He took it to the DMs.
At this point, I was scared. Jamie is clearly a big man, and worst still – I’d upset him. Of course I was too scared to reply. I was dizzy with anxiety, my mouth was dry. My hands shook so much that I couldn’t use the keyboard.
After a good thirty minutes of tears, I pulled it together. My vision blurry, heart pounding, I penned out a reply.
I pressed ‘send’. I felt a wave of emotions. I regretted it, I was elated, exhausted and nervous all at once. I awaited his reply.
5 minutes later my phone buzzed. It was the big man…
I flew into a rage. Was he intentionally spelling my name incorrectly to try and emasculate me? To belittle me? I suppose this is what I get for expressing a differing opinion to that of big man Jamie ‘big man’ Bargeman.
In reality, Jamie wasn’t clever enough to see the irony or sarcasm i my initial ‘review’. Jamie wasn’t clever enough to understand that my reply to his initial DM was really only for my benefit. Jamie wasn’t smart enough to understand that you don’t use your business account to get my old address and pretend to send men round.
This has got to be the funniest shit I’ve seen in ages. But what I can’t understand is why Jamie Bargeman has such a vested interest in some fucking Octal Industries record. Or why he even gives a fuck that someone didn’t like it.
However, for the record I would like to the following to be made clear: Jamie Bargeman of Exalt Records, woofhard_one on Discogs.com, is a literal clown. He is an idiot, a fool and a moron. I feel sorry for anyone who has ever had to suffer his company or opinions. I pity his parents having raised such a slow witted mongoloid. Jamie Bargeman is a grown man, who acts like an angry teenager but can only write like a child.
Jamie Bargeman, Exalt Records – fuck you.